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Now that the school year is fully underway, many co-parents find themselves facing new challenges. Navigating the logistics of different households, differing routines, and making sure the children’s needs are met can be stressful. For families going through a divorce, or who are already co-parenting, clear communication and reasonable expectations are crucial to ensure a smooth academic year for all involved. Below are some special considerations for co-parents who are balancing life in different households as shared by our Lincoln, NE uncontested divorce lawyer:
- Coordinated Schedules
With over eighteen years of combined experience at our practice, we know that the school calendar will dictate many aspects of the children’s routine, and it’s essential for both parents to be on the same page. This includes understanding when school starts and ends each day, knowing the dates of school holidays, early dismissals, and other special events like parent-teacher conferences and extracurricular activities. Consider creating a shared calendar that both parents can access and update, ensuring that everyone is aware of upcoming events and changes. Also, ensure both parents are on all school contact lists and have access to report cards, announcements, and the like.
- Consistent Routines
Children thrive on consistency, and while it may not be possible to create an identical routine in both households, establishing some key consistent practices can provide much-needed stability. This might include setting similar bedtimes, snack/meal routines, screen time, or homework policies. Consistency helps reduce anxiety for children, especially when they are navigating transitions between mom’s, dad’s, childcare, school, and various activities.
- Extracurricular Activities
Some children and some parents thrive in fully structured days, while others need time to rest and breathe and just be as our founder, Vanessa Gorden who was ranked Best Family Law Lawyers in Lincoln by Expertise.com can attest. Take a moment to consider whether each child is extroverted and social, needs additional time to complete homework, has specific gifts and talents in areas such as music or sports, etc. The happiest and healthiest families take the time to measure and compromise on how many hours per week the child spends in non-school and non-family activities and to consider the needs of the other family members in all households where the child spends time.
- Financial Considerations
The start of the school year often comes with additional financial burdens, such as school supplies, uniforms, extracurricular activities, and other fees. Co-parents should discuss how these expenses will be handled. This is true even where your Financial Plan and Court Orders state how the expenses must be divided. Whether the costs are split evenly or in proportion to income, having this conversation early can prevent misunderstandings or disagreements down the road and can prevent resentment from forced purchases or uneven budgets.
It’s also important to review any child support agreements to ensure they cover school-related expenses, as these costs can fluctuate throughout the year. Having a plan in place to address unexpected costs, such as field trips or additional tutoring, will help reduce stress.
- Address Child/ren’s Emotions
The start of the school year can be an emotional time for children, particularly if they are transitioning between two homes. This period often brings excitement but also anxiety. Co-parents should work together to support their children emotionally. This might involve having regular check-ins to discuss how the child is adjusting or collaborating to address any behavioral changes that might arise. Both parents should encourage open communication with the other parent for the child, but also model appropriate and open communication themselves, without assumptions, blaming, minimizing, or exaggerating. Children should feel comfortable expressing any concerns they have, whether about school, friends, or their schedule between homes. However, final decisions on matters must be made by the parents with the responsibility and authority to do so.
- Plan For Emergencies
Finally, co-parents should have a clear plan for handling emergencies during the school year. Whether it’s a sick child needing to be picked up or an unexpected school or childcare closure, knowing who will take charge in these situations will help avoid confusion and ensure that the child’s needs are met quickly.
Working through the school year as co-parents living in different households requires careful planning and communication. By coordinating schedules, establishing consistent routines, staying in touch with the school, addressing financial and emotional needs, and planning for emergencies, co-parents can help their children have a successful and less stressful academic year. The key to success lies in collaboration and keeping the best interests of the child at the forefront of every decision. If you and your ex need help getting an official agreement in place regarding your kid’s schedules, contact us at GordenLaw, LLC for help today.
